My first belgian Ramadhan
The blessed month of Ramadhan is very evocative for me, as it is at this particular time of year that my life took a turn after I discovered the Truth.
Truth Seeker
I embraced Islam two years ago after a long journey seeking ‘Knowledge' in various places and spaces. Finally, God granted me this great honour - to receive the Truth and unveil the covering over my eyes.
It was my academic interest in the Islamic culture of the sub-continent that led me to this path. I set out to do some research on the “ The nature of guidance in mystical Islam, Western Punjab , Pakistan ”. My fieldwork took place in various parts of the Punjab in 2002. It was a time when community insularism was at it peak after the attacks on New York and Afghanistan . The gap between the Muslim and non-Muslim community was growing.
Heart Cleansing
I would introduce myself as a ‘Christian' even though I was a complete agnostic. As part of my work as an ant hr opologist I was required to be totally immersed within the community I studied. So I lived for months with the Muslim brotherhood and observed the rituals that took place during their weekly gatherings of remembrance of God ( dhikr ) and glorification of Allah's beautiful names. It was ”to clean our hearts” they explained, it was “a journey to your inner self”. For me, it has been a beautiful lesson of tolerance.
Very quickly the observation I was carrying out turned inwards to observing my self and doubts started to rise in my mind about my own acquired knowledge of our origin - where do we come from, and where we are going? Gradually, I became a Muslim instead of an agnostic - a believer in God just one year after my research in Pakistan
Back in Belgium
My first Ramadan was after my official shahada, when I returned to Belgium . I had everything to learn at that time, especially how to deal with my unchanged environment. Becoming a Muslim is like a second birth and we tend to be fragile at the beginning. You feel like spreading the Truth all around you but then you realise it is just vanity, and God is the only one who can decide.
In Pakistan , everything was easy because it is a Muslim country so you have only to adjust to the mainstream. In contrast, during my first Ramadhan in Belgium I faced some difficulties because nothing is organised to facilitate the lives of Muslims. We do not have time or space to pray so we have to find all kinds of alternatives. Alhamdullilah, God has given us guidelines to adapt to every condition.
Curiosity and Questions
At the start of my first Ramadhan, the difficulty was more in how to reassure my friends and family that I had not been brainwashed by fanatics, or that I was not trying to kill myself slowly by fasting on my own! I was also cautious not to make people feel uncomfortable, for instance during lunch. The interesting thing is that as my appearance does not reveal me as a Muslim, people are curious and it is a very good opportunity to clarify some preconceived ideas. People still think religion is a way people give reason to their lives - rather than something that transcends us.
Being in a Muslim environment was less of a challenge, so these are ideal ingredients to test our strength and our battle against our nafs (ego).
Moroccans in the Mosque
By the end of the first week I felt quite lonely fasting by myself, so I decided to go to a Mosque to pray ishaa and tarawih. I would pack my Jalabiyah (long robe) and my scarf in my bag and change before going there. I felt great pleasure at being part of the Muslim community and the women took me under their wing and ‘adopted' me straight away. The majority of the Muslim community in Belgium is originally from Morocco , and they are well known for the warmth of their hospitality. They fed me delicious home-made Moroccan specialities like harira , biscuits made of nuts and honey, olives and pancakes. May God bless them!
The flavour of adoration is even stronger when we pray together and are guided by the imam. I would be transported with exaltation during the early morning recitation of Qur'an by the pure voice of these imams who had come from Saudi Arabia for Ramdhan. It is so important when you do not come from a Muslim background to meet people who can make you feel as if the Muslim community is your new family to whom you can come back to.
Unfortunately, I did not celebrate Eid at the end of my first Ramadan as I was working and it is a family event.
Pakistan
My second Ramadan was during my second field research in the suburbs of Rawalpindi , Pakistan amongst a “gypsy” settlement. These indigenous people of the Punjab live at the edges of the cities in traditional jogi's (patchwork tents) and have a semi-nomadic lifestyle.
I expected to be fasting together with the community I was studying but soon realized that I was the only one fasting! This is explained by the fact these people are illiterate; they do not mix with mainstream people and don't have access to the institutions.
Educational Experience
The fact that I was a new Muslim and a foreigner gave me a much more neutral position than if I had been Pakistani. I was quite well integrated in the settlement, and as I was living amongst them they would easily take advice from me. So it was a good occasion to do daw'a (inviting to Islam) because I was not perceived like one of the moralizing imams that you can find t hr oughout Pakistan . I had the opportunity to share some of my little knowledge about Islam with these people who did not have the chance to learn how to read and see for themselves what the Holy Qur'an says to us.
I really appreciated the fact that my hosts always made sure I had an empty space in one of the tents so that I could offer my prayers. Opening my fast at the settlement was an opportunity to participate in the households tasks and observe the way the women prepared food. You can learn a great deal by observing the person in charge of the cooking in the household, and judge about the family structure.
Tarawih
Apart from my days spent in the settlement, I used to return to the city from time to time. In Islamabad I had the chance to attend tarawih in one of the most peaceful and beautiful mosques of Pakistan 's capital. With its huge marble courtyard and fountains surrounded by hills, it is a very pleasant place to spend the evenings of Ramadan. In this mosque, there was once again a different cultural context as the women who came to the mosque were mainly expatriate Arabs. In Pakistan , women very seldom go to the mosque. Wherever you go you will always find this beautiful marriage of diverse cultures on which Islam stacks itself.
Punjabi Eid
Eid was tremendous. I went back to celebrate Eid with my close friends who live in Lahore but are originally from a village near the Indian border. It is one of those typical villages of the Punjab , surrounded by rice fields crossed by canals. It is divine to be able to pray on the roof, wake up and have a stroll early morning in the rice fields. These big family gatherings are worth experiencing because they reflect elements of social cohesion that are sadly disappearing in our over-materialistic societies.
In a general way, I think Ramadan is a gift God gives us every year to get closer to Him. It gives us the chance to share more than we usually do and concentrate more deeply on our spiritual lives. It is about opening a fast with other Muslims t hr oughout the world, spreading universality and being grateful and humble before our Creator for all the blessings He gives us.
Reflections
My third Ramadhan will be spent partly in England and I am looking forward to the new experiences it will bring again. The miracle of this century, I believe, is that the “ Sun is now rising in the West'. Every year, each Ramadan, a tremendous number of people become Muslims – just like I did two years ago.
Angelina Le
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